Zeno Group Blog

When you are fighting breast cancer, you get overdosed and overdone by many things. You are flooded by drugs and therapies and yes, the color pink. In doctor’s offices, infusion rooms and radiation centers, pink ribbons adorn everything from literature to nurse’s uniforms. During my treatment four years ago, I started to hate the color. Well-meaning friends sent me endless pink gifts all bedecked and often bejeweled with the ribbon. Pink T-shirts and bracelets, balloons and flowers, hats and scarves were lovingly sent. My bedroom began to resemble a little girl’s pink decorating scheme.

On my last day of chemo, I expected a pink balloon drop or shower of pink confetti. But none came. I realized that the celebration was not in the end of treatment, but in the start of a new chapter. Pink took on a new meaning at my first breast cancer walk. I was immersed in a sea of survivors and friends and family and yes, pink. Everywhere. On hats, banners, signs, balloons and the endless posters carried by survivors and friends. It was overwhelming and beautiful. Incredibly beautiful. So as we approach Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I say bring on the pink. I may not be wearing it myself, but I will be proudly walking with other survivors, doing my part to raise awareness, taking my medications and moving toward the incredibly wonderful pink light.

I love demographic terms and the names marketers come up with to define consumer categories. Recssionistas have garnered significant attention from companies and press. The question is not only how women are shopping today, but when the recession ends, will they ever return to former buying patterns? As the mother of two teenage daughters who view shopping as a competitive sport, leaner times have given us a chance to review and rethink how we buy. We continue to remain brand loyal, but shop smarter. Like other consumers, we search for the most competitive prices of the products we love. We find great satisfaction from extending our dollar in as many ways possible. With the passion of big game hunters, we are on the prowl for “the deal.” While we may spend more as the economy rebounds, our new found quest for great buys, will remain. The message to companies is help consumers feel good about shopping by providing value and appeal to our sense of deal-hunting.

Ever since Nielsen released its latest study on Moms and social networking, I have been mulling over the dramatic inflection point of motherhood. Motherhood, more than any other time in our lives, allows us to share the most intimate parts of our lives with total strangers. From walking in malls, to online communities, we solicit and provide advice like experts. A mother of a newborn with colic can suddenly become a support system for moms just beginning the process of, “why won’t she stop crying?” Social media, more than mommy groups, enables moms to hyper target communication with other moms at the exact ages and stages.

From breast feeding to the introduction of solids, to meals and playtimes, advice and laments hurtle through the web. I recently tweeted about my teenage daughters and babysitting, and received numerous, thoughtful comments on how to advice kids on what to charge, as well as a quick snapshot of acceptable rates across the country. We moms connect online, not only to seek advice and bridge the loneliness and often insanity that comes with motherhood, we connect because we trust one another. We value advice from strangers because motherhood takes away the unfamiliar and makes us a wonderful collective of aunts, sisters, mothers and friends. So when I tweet or blog about my latest travails of curfews and teen driving, I am not alone. I have the support and comfort of the collective Borg that is motherhood and I may be going crazy, but I am hardly alone.

As all moms know, it is a fine line to balance concern with overparenting. Is it nutty to lurk outside your kid’s classroom to catch a peek of your child, to ache when they miss when they are up at bat, or to want to send them into the world – whether to kindergarten, camp or college – with a protective bubble? I am feeling a bit optimistic that alpha motherhood may be morphing into realistic parenting. I have raised two incredibly strong young women, who understand that while motherhood enriches me, it does not solely define me. The new movement of realistic parenting makes sense in this new economy and return to basics. Maybe French lessons, Suzuki and Kumon are great – but are they necessary for raising confident, empathic young adults. Marketers need to understand that the recession and return to basics is changing the way moms parent and shop. We are still purchasing, but not out of guilt to cater to every family whim and we want brands that understand this cultural shift and to speak to us not at us.

It can happen to the best of us. One day you are the most sought after consumer by companies and the next you are all but forgotten. The coveted younger female consumer is not only perceived to have the money and desire to shop, they are often viewed as the most active in social media. Oh contraire. Women over 55 are the fastest growing segment on Facebook and 65% of online apparel sales are made by women over 35. No surprise — we mature women have years of shopping experience under our belts and are good at it. Shopping online is efficient, fun and collaborative and when insomnia hits, a great way to spend those early morning hours. Yet many web sites just don’t get that we may have the money and desire, but also need products that appeal to us and not just our daughters.

Years ago a wise and experienced mom handed me a parenting book that helped shape and define my approach to child-rearing. The book, Blessings of a Skinned Knee, articulates the importance of allowing our children to fail in order for them to learn how to succeed. Just as life is often not fair or easy, we all know that overcoming obstacles is critical for success. That is why I choose to find life lessons from this challenging economy for ourselves, our clients and for our children. It is important for kids to see that we too can handle adversity and can creativity find solutions to our problems. I find that our family is eating home more, finding ways to spend time together that involve doing rather than spending and being more thoughtful about purchases. As moms and marketers to moms, we know the importance of sharing information, from best buys to best practices. Mom bloggers are so powerful because we get the importance of finding solutions and sharing experiences. Teaching and modeling resourcefulness and optimism is a great life lesson. We can calculate the costs of daily savings or our net worth, but the price of teaching our children to learn how to falter and not give up: priceless.

Alpha moms aka helicopter parents scare and intimidate me. Unlike the more low key soccer moms, the Alphas attack parenting with the same zeal and organizational prowess that they did in the board room. Blackberries are whipped out at school carpool lines to schedule play dates. Parent meetings, previously and wonderfully laid back, have taken on the air of city council meetings.

As a slacker mom or beta mom I have struggled over the years with the raised eyebrows or shall we say, pregnant pauses, that I seem to evoke when admitting that I didn’t make an open house meeting or could not for the life of me remember the names of the kids, let alone the parents, in my children’s classes. And recently the quintessential slacker versus helicopter moment in my 18-year history arrived. I was at a party where we were discussing the college application process. I asked an Alpha mom how her daughter was handling the stress of college admissions. She laughed and responded with utter candor, “my daughter wouldn’t know, I have written all of her applications.” Instead of the group of moms reeling in horror, bobbing heads went around the room as mom after mom shared what they were doing to “help” their kid get into college. All eyes were on me when the woman asked me how my daughter’s applications were going. A moment of truth in Slackermommia (my new word) – do I or don’t I reveal that my daughter filled out all her applications without my husband or I ever laying eyes on them? Part of me felt horror at these parents who have difficulty allowing their kids to make it on their own. Another part of me felt like the slacker mom I am – it never even occurred to write my daughter’s applications.

When it comes to marketing to moms, conventional wisdom dictates that companies should market to Alpha moms and the Betas will follow. I disagree – from recommended products to parenting, I follow the advice and trends of other betas. While we may not lead the way in hyper-parenting, we certainly have our own and valued opinions about how we raise our children and the products we consume and companies would be wise to speak and market to us differently.